I shaved my legs, and then I used some of the metric ton of free lotion I keep in my hall closet. I have all this lotion because corporations will not stop giving me lotion, because I have a blog?

I can’t get rid of it, because the seventeen year old inside of me knows that handing out perfectly good body butter is like giving away free money. Some day I will need body butter. Like fifteen pounds of body butter! I will be having some sort of unforeseeable body butter emergency, and then where will I turn?

Anyway, I put some body butter on my legs today. I am grabbing life by the throat.